In this BIT: Discover the importance of friends, why we need friends, and more about why friendships & social connection are KEY to happiness!
According to psychologist and professor at the University of California, Riverside; Sonja Lyubomirsky; connecting with others is one of the top ways to feel happier. Connection is a key to happiness! The real question is how? How does spending time with those whose company we enjoy actually bring us happiness? What happens inside of our brain to help us feel so much happier?
In an article in Scientific American, Scientist Matthew Lieberman explains that from rats to humans, every creature searches for social connection and is greatly shaped by its social environment. Due to this deep connectivity that we hold with social environments, Lieberman explains that we use pain language to express pain that we might have experienced in a previous social setting. Phrases such as ‘broke my heart’ and ‘hurt my feelings’ are more than just a metaphor, but something evolutionary significant. The things that we as humans notice to be painful and hurtful can be viewed as threats, from an evolutionary standpoint. Meaning, due to the intense feelings that we tie with healthy vs unhealthy relationships, humans understand the lack of a healthy social dynamic as a threat, and view connection as a necessity. Think about it! Even back in the Cave Days, we relied upon others to stay safe, get food, and stay away from danger. Our clan was essential to our survival. If we weren’t part of a clan, our odds weren’t looking so great! From the beginning of time, spending time with loved ones has been a priority.
“With familiarity, other people become apart of ourselves,” explains James Coan, a professor of psychology at the University of Virgina. A study conducted at the university found that a lot of our own self-identity is founded through the people whose company we keep. When we surround ourselves with uplifting people who evoke happiness within us while in their proximity, this relationship helps us feel happier, in general. A study was conducted with 22 young adults, who went under an MRI scan to monitor their brain while they received a mild electrical threat for: themselves, a friend, and a stranger. To no surprise, the participants’ brains lit up when receiving the threat to themselves. When the threat applied to a stranger, the brains hardly reacted. However, when the threat was to a friend, the brain reacted in the exact same way as when the individual themselves was in danger. Coan explains that this shows the deep empathy that individuals have for people they care about, illustrating the value and importance of friends.
The American Psychological Association researched and described the incredible benefits that we receive from social connection. For starters, individuals with strong friendships were found to be less likely to develop depression or other health conditions which could lead to death. “On the other hand, when people are low in social connection—because of isolation, loneliness, or poor-quality relationships—they face an increased risk of premature death,” says Julianne Holt-Lunstad, a professor of Psychology and Neuroscience at Brigham Young University. Friends have also been found to protect us through changing the way we respond to stress. If we experience something, and proceed to go and tell someone that we love, our blood pressure begins to reduce.
Spending time with people who we care about, be it a family member or friend, is extremely beneficial. Since the dawn of time, relationships have been a basis of survival and happiness. Connecting with our friends and family is a great way to feel happier and boost our mood!
We hope that this inspires you to reach-out to a friend or family member, bringing you a Small Bit of Happiness.
For more happiness check out our Mood Boost page.
Featuring quick videos created for teens by teens.
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