In this BIT: Think you might have a toxic friend? Read our tips for finding good friends, and advice for dealing with fake friends.
Toxic friends. Those friends who cause you stress, uncertainty, and sometimes even physical distress. At their core, friendships are meant to support us, bringing us a sense of excitement, happiness, and energy. Our close friends are there for us – through thick and thin. And, vice versa! However, if you’ve ever felt a sense of stress or emotional turmoil surrounding your friend, you may be in a toxic friendship. If you think your friend may be a toxic friend, consider them and their actions as you read this BITs post.
Important: everyone can have a bad day or be upset sometimes! However, toxic friends tend to cause drama and problems regularly.
They might get upset when you talk with, engage, or spend time with others. Toxic friends might talk you out of inviting others to join-in on plans. They may talk badly about other people in your life, and in a sense, isolate you from others. Even if you don’t feel your best spending time with them, you wind up increasing your duration of time together.
Have you ever experienced a friend who only treats you kindly when they need something of you? A connection or reference? A last-minute ride? To borrow clothes? When nobody else is available on the weekend? On the other hand, when they don’t actively need anything from you, this friend may treat you with disregard or rudely. Or, perhaps your friend acts differently in public vs when it’s just the two of you. They’re nice around other people, like other friends, but when you’re not surrounded by others, they might put you down, criticize people, or be rude.
Openly and honestly, consider this question within any relationship. Have you ever caught yourself dreading spending time with this potentially ‘toxic’ friend? Wishing you were not friends? Avoiding replying to their texts or calls? But, you are unsure of how to end the friendship, distance yourself, or upset your friend. Such feelings are a sign of a potentially toxic friend! Toxic and ‘fake’ friends can sometimes ‘test’ your loyalty and convince you to do things you don’t want to do, by saying things like if you don’t do _____ you’re not my actual friend or you’re not a good friend.
If you believe you might be in a toxic friendship, it’s okay. You’ve got this. Many of us have experienced similar situations! It’s important to realize that you deserve better friends. You deserve people who energize you, lift your mood, and make you feel GOOD. According to KMA Therapy, “You should NEVER feel like you’re walking on eggshells with a friend. If you do, it’s likely toxic, and you deserve better.” If you are unsure of how to distance yourself from a friend, talk to an expert or trusted friend for advice. You deserve to find good friends!
For more happiness check out our Mood Boost page.
Featuring quick videos created for teens by teens.
Sources:
See our tips for finding good friends and managing fake and toxic friends.