Why is it Good To Talk About Feelings?

Light pink background, with a teen girl in the right corner. The teen girl is wearing a red t-shirt, has curly brown hair, silver hoop earrings and a very confused expression.  On the left-hand side of the girl, "The Truth About Sharing Your Feelings" is written.

“Tell me how you feel”, “it’s okay, you can tell me”.  Do you ever hear these words from people that care about you?  When we’re feeling happy, excited, sad, stressed, angry, or frustrated, there may be people around us who can listen to how we are feeling, but we often push them away.  As a teenager, I know how you feel.  What if this person judges us?  What if they tell someone what I told them? Regardless of our fears, talking to someone that we trust about our feelings really does help express those feelings, and boosts our mood.

In this BIT: How do you tell your best friend that you’re upset? How do you talk about feelings? Discover these answers here.

In my experience, there are two types of ‘feeling’ talks: The “In The Moment” and the “Overview”. 

Teenage girl with long, brown hair, wearing a green, oversized hoodie. She looks confused, with one hand on her mouth, and the other extending to the right. Above her right, extended hand "In the Moment" is written.

In The Moment

You express how you feel in the moment that you’re feeling it.  For example, if you feel really annoyed because your friend keeps stealing your phone, tell them “Hey, it’s really annoying when you take my phone away, can you please not do that?” When you say how you’re feeling, you let your friend know that you’re annoyed, without yelling or being rude – which could upset your friend as well. This is helpful, because when we attach words to our feelings it helps us express those feelings, without having an outburst.  


You talk to someone about how you’ve been feeling lately.  Examples of this include:

– You and a friend have a conversation about how stressful school has been lately.

– How annoying your siblings can get.

– How excited you are for someone’s birthday party this weekend.  

When we talk about how we’ve been feeling with someone we trust (friend, family member etc.), it not only helps improve our relationship, because we’re sharing and relating to something personal, but it also helps relieve those feelings. Why? You will likely feel less lonely once you share your feelings with someone.  Often, this person can either relate to how you’re feeling, or, if they can’t relate they can give you comfort in sharing.  Either way, you’ll likely feel a weight lifted off your shoulders, because you won’t be going through those feelings on your own.  

Two teenage girls sitting on a couch. They are smiling, and chatting. The girl on the left has black hair in a bun, she is wearing a grey tshirt, blue jeans and a flannel, as well as holding a blue pillow on her lap. The girl on the right has braided black hair, grey jeans, a striped tshirt and a denim jacket. In the bottom right corner "overview" is written.

Talking about our feelings is good. By talking about our feelings, it validates them and helps us process our emotions associated with those feelings. If we bottle up or ignore our feelings they can often lead to outbursts.

Keep in mind that it’s a good idea to let the person listening to you open up about their feelings as well.  Consider prompting them with a question, like “how have you been lately?” or “can you relate?”. When we share mutual experiences, whether negative or positive, our relationship with someone deepens and grows.  

Also, talk about your positive and happy feelings. This includes good things that have happened and exciting things that are upcoming.  When you share something positive that happened in the past, you actually relive it, bringing more happiness into your life. By sharing positivity, we bring a small bit of happiness to others and help them focus on the good.

Light green background with a yellow note in the centre. Above the note "How to talk about feelings" is written. On the note, the numbers "1,2,3" are listed. Next to each number there is a tip: "Think about the name for how you feel (i.e excited), Think about why you're feeling this way (i.e seeing friends), and link the two together (I'm excited to see my friends)."

How to Talk to Someone About Your Feelings

Talking to someone about how you feel doesn’t have to be a big sit-down conversation (unless you want it to)!  If you’re unsure how to start a conversation relating to your feelings, use the strategy pictured, or below. This strategy is especially helpful when you’re telling someone In the Moment.

1. Think about the name of your feeling (excited, happy, stressed).

2. Think of why you’re feeling this way (holiday, good or bad mark on assignment, someone is sick, family is coming over, or if you don’t know: that’s ok too).

3. Link the two together (I’m excited because we’re leaving for a holiday in a few days).

Some examples:

– “I’m excited about Taco Night!”

– “I’m stressed about all the tests we have coming up.”

– “I’m sad that the movie didn’t download.”

At the top, an image of 3 tacos and a lime on a plate. Below "I'm excited about Taco Night!" is written.  And beneath that, "I'm sad that the movie didn't download" is written, with a blue image of a teenage girl in a blue room, laying on her bed, with a white pillow on her head.  She is looking at her laptop.

We hope that knowing why sharing your feelings is helpful inspires you to share how you’re feeling (positive or negative) with someone today, and gives you a small bit of happiness. 


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