In this BIT: Why be kind? Uncover the impact of kindness, reasons to be kind, and why kindness is truly good for you.
Try something before you read another word. Bring one person to mind and silently wish for them to be happy. That’s the entire assignment. Ten seconds.
You smiled. Nearly everyone does. Chade-Meng Tan, one of Google’s earliest engineers, has run this experiment on thousands of people. “To be on the giving end of a kind thought, the giving end, not the receiving end, is intrinsically rewarding,” he says. “You’re happy for no reason.” After one of his talks, a stranger who hated his job tried this at work — thinking about two people an hour. Just eighty seconds of effort across the day. The email Meng received the next morning said, “Tuesday was my happiest day in seven years.”
We consider giving as a nice thing to do once our own tank is full. However, the people who build their lives around giving keep reporting the reverse. Will Guidara, who ran Eleven Madison Park when it was named the best restaurant in the world, is blunt about the payoff: “Hospitality is the most selfish pleasure. It feels unbelievably good to do kind things for other people.” His conclusion sounds like a riddle and works like a rule: “The best way to receive is to give. The more happiness you give, the more happiness you’ll feel.”
Asha Curran has watched that rule play out in more than a hundred countries as CEO and co-founder of GivingTuesday. Why be kind? Because, “everybody needs to give. Not just wants to, but really needs to,” she says. “To be a full human, we need to understand how to take care of each other.” The proof she reaches for is an elderly woman in Baltimore whose arthritis had ended her piano-playing days. As such, she gave her piano to a nonprofit that teaches music to kids who can’t afford lessons.
And the effects of kindness go beyond your own line of sight. Dr. Kelli Harding, author of The Rabbit Effect, explains how kindness impacts bystanders: “it turns out it’s not just receiving kindness and it’s not just giving kindness, it’s also observing kindness. It turns out all those parties have a benefit.” Every kind act impacts a crowd you didn’t know was watching.
So, start small. Curran’s favourite move is free: “If you’re thinking something nice about someone, make sure that you tell them. It can make someone’s day. Just make sure it doesn’t stay in your own head.”
Somewhere in your head right now sits a compliment you never delivered. That’s happiness just waiting to be shared. Therefore, give it out, and you’ll actually receive a lot in return. Why be kind – because the impact of kindness is like a boomerang! Kindness is good for you, and your community. Our deepest thanks to the Hack Your Happiness guests whose generosity of knowledge and stories, shaped this piece. Explore their work, read their books, and share their incredible work with people in your community.
Chade-Meng Tan, author of Joy on Demand and Search Inside Yourself. Learn more at chademeng.com – Will Guidara, restaurateur and author of Unreasonable Hospitality. Learn more at unreasonablehospitality.com – Asha Curran, CEO and co-founder of GivingTuesday. Explore more at givingtuesday.org – Dr. Kelli Harding, author of The Rabbit Effect. Learn more at kellihardingmd.com
For more happiness check out our Mood Boost page.
Featuring quick videos created for teens by teens.
