In this BIT: Do you feel the incoming holiday stress and Christmas stress? Check out the below advice from experts on how to have a healthy and better Christmas.
Christa Pitts runs The Elf on the Shelf. And right now, it’s officially (almost) Elf on The Shelf season! In preparation, we asked her: what is the simplest thing a family can do for more happiness and connection, especially during this holiday season?
Christa’s insight is the first piece of holiday stress advice that we all need to hear. It’s easy to get caught up in the rush and endless to-do lists of this season. The gifts, the tree, the menu. However, Christa shares that the most important part of the season is quality time, so put the phone down! In her own words, “quality time is the one thing that you can’t recreate or buy.” Christa’s family upholds meaningful annual traditions that are inexpensive and not over-the-top, yet still make the season special. Every Christmas Eve, her sister runs a cookie decorating contest, with friends voting online without knowing whose cookie is whose. “These are cookies and cookie cutters and an oven and some baking. And it’s sometimes the most simple things that create the biggest amount of joy.”
Putting your phone away matters! Happiness researcher Dr. Elizabeth Dunn took over a restaurant table for six months and ran a test. Some groups kept their phones out, while others put them away. “People enjoyed the meal with their friends and family significantly more when everyone put their phones away.” In fact, Dr. Dunn shares that “people actually felt more bored during the dinner when they had access to their phones.” A phone on the table does not save a dull dinner. In fact, it causes one.
A second piece of advice for the upcoming holiday stress of the season: know your boundaries and uphold them. While magical, the holiday season can get overwhelming. You might get invited to more events than you have time for, or receive special requests from family and friends that you simply don’t have the bandwidth to accommodate. Remember that you can say no, and you don’t owe anyone a story. Melissa Urban, a boundary expert and author of The Book of Boundaries, says most of us over-explain. Someone asks you to dinner, but you have too much to do at home. Then, “the person says, ‘Oh my gosh, I’ll come over and help you’… And now you’re like, “I didn’t want to go and now I have to think of a new excuse.'”
A short, kind no works. Don’t feel guilty for knowing our boundaries and prioritizing rest and wellbeing. A healthy Christmas comes from knowing your limits, and holding them.
Christa Pitts shares another essential piece of holiday advice. Gifts are “not about the price tag, it’s about the thoughtfulness of the present. That’s why parents have pasta ornaments hanging on their refrigerator or on their Christmas tree, right?” All in all, buy the thing you know they’ll love. Don’t place pressure on yourself to spend way beyond your budget.
While all the excitement of November and December build immense anticipation for Christmas morning, our final piece of advice is to soak up each moment of the season. Restaurateur Will Guidara plans things to look forward to all year. However, he warns that “if you’re just looking forward to the thing that will bring you happiness, you don’t work hard enough to find joy in the moment.” The weeks leading up to the big day are also part of the special season. Enjoy it!
As the holiday season approaches, remember what it’s all about: connecting with loved ones, spreading kindness, and finding beauty in daily life. Send this BITS post to a person in your life who loves the holidays – or who is feeling a bit overwhelmed with holiday and Christmas stress.
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Our thanks to the guests whose advice shape this piece. Their conversations on the Hack Your Happiness podcast keep paying off long after the cameras stop, and their books, research, and work are worth your time. Explore their work below.
Christa Pitts, co-founder and co-CEO of The Lumistella Company, home of The Elf on the Shelf. Learn more at christapitts.com
Dr. Elizabeth Dunn, happiness researcher and professor of psychology at the University of British Columbia. Learn more at happyclimate.org
Melissa Urban, co-founder and CEO of Whole30 and author of The Book of Boundaries. Learn more at melissau.com
Will Guidara, restaurateur and author of Unreasonable Hospitality. Learn more at unreasonablehospitality.com
Have a healthy Christmas and reduce your holiday stress with this advice for a better Christmas. All in all, we all need these holiday tips!
