In this BIT: Have you ever felt a fear of the future? Whether you have anticipatory anxiety or are just slightly afraid of the future, this advice can help you manage uncertainty.
Rich Diviney hates roller coasters. His wife loves them. Same track, same drop. The retired Navy SEAL commander describes riding one with her: “It’s the exact same ride for both of us. But, I’m feeling uncertainty and anxiety and fear, and she’s feeling uncertainty and curiosity and excitement.” The unknown is identical for both riders. Only one thing differs. Uncertainty + anxiety= fear. However, uncertainty + curiosity= excitement. Life decides how much unknown you get. You decide what to mix with it.
Psychologist Dr. Meg Jay explains why the swap feels hard: “Your brain perceives uncertainty as danger. That’s normal. Evolutionarily, it’s normal for the brain to think, oh my gosh, I don’t know what’s around the corner. Could be a bear, could be a dinosaur.”
Feeling afraid of the future is just old brain wiring doing its job. These feelings hold no actual information about your future.
Harvard psychology professor Dr. Ellen Langer goes further in explaining our fear of the future. The demand for certainty was never realistic: “You can’t know. If everything is changing all the time, how can you know?” People conflate confidence and certainty. “I am confident all the time. And I don’t know anything for certain.”
To manage uncertainty, remember this saying: “And I know that finding out is fun.”
NASCAR driver Julia Landauer, whose races can turn on mechanical failures nobody saw coming, points her energy at one target: “The more that we take ownership over what IS in our control, the more at peace we’ll be if there’s something we can’t handle.” Her top advice for managing uncertainty? “Just focus on what you have some impact over, and practice being at peace with the rest.”
And sometimes the unplanned hour turns out to be the best one. Phil Rosenthal, creator of Everybody Loves Raymond, host of Somebody Feed Phil, built his happiest discoveries on exactly that: “I love going where the locals go. That’s what I mean by serendipity. You can’t plan that.” The next time life refuses to tell you what happens next, remember: you’re already strapped in. The drop is coming either way.
We hope that these words of wisdom surrounding the fear of future inspire you to feel slightly more comfortable about — and to embrace — the uncertainty of the future. Additionally, remember to stay in the present moment, and find a small bit of happiness in the here and now.
Our deepest thanks to the Hack Your Happiness guests whose generosity of knowledge and stories, shaped this piece. Explore their work, read their books, and share their incredible work with people in your community. Rich Diviney, retired Navy SEAL commander. Learn more at theattributes.com – Meg Jay, psychologist and bestselling author. Learn more at megjay.com – Dr. Ellen Langer, psychologist Harvard University professor. Explore more at ellenlanger.me – Julia Landauer, NASCAR driver and motivational speaker. Learn more at julialandauer.com – Phil Rosenthal, American TV writer and producer. Learn more at philrosenthalworld.com
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Featuring quick videos created for teens by teens.
Do you have anticipatory anxiety or a fear of the future? See our top advice on how to manage uncertainty, reduce anticipatory anxiety, and feel less afraid of the future.